Standing at Damascus

Actions speak louder than words.
Standing there, humbled, she wonders...
How did you forget you were powerless?
You took hold of the wheel again, grasping ever so tightly in vain...
the tighter you held on, the further out of control you became.
She remembers, ever so softly...
How much easier life flows when you trust that you've got no control.
When you push to win, explain to be forgiven,
You've said too much again.
She bows her head, humble again...
Ever wonder or even know for certain,
that your destiny has perhaps passed you by
that you missed the real plan, too busy worrying of the maybe's.
It is frightening to consider the possibilities,
so much softer to ride the wind,
so much more elegant to feel the breeze.
That is why you must never let your mind wander again
about anything but you
about anything but the moment, and truth.
Yesterday never was, tomorrow never came. Today...
So you've lost a kindred friend;
humble yourself dear lady, if you hope to regain Grace.
So you played weak, afraid, nearly pathetic...
because you grabbed the reigns, not because that is you,
how could you? she asks herself...
Don't be ashamed, you must forgive yourself.
Every lady makes mistakes, every mother must make a choice.
You've done the best you can, now stand up, move on,
keep memories dear and turn mistakes into lessons,
hold them even nearer,
Why are you still standing? Still clean? Still hopeful?
Surely not for being weak, mistaken, or compulsively speaking...
but from being humble, listening, and respecting
from strength, beauty, and determination.
She bows her head, no more tears but a smile...
we are not one moment, one instance, one circumstance in our lives
we are composed of many, most of them good,
the "bad" must be turned forward, into lessons.
That you must trust the wind with your life,
that it will carry you and your destiny into your life.
When you turn your back and shield your eyes,
that is when your reality subsides, drifts away.
As long as you ride with a smile, you are safe
no matter where you are, you are safe.
So PLEASE, dear woman, don't forget...
we are not one moment, if that were the case I would tell you
"pack it in"
But you are much more, and that is what draws people in
Thank God for mercy, now PLEASE don't forget again
that the more you say the less sense you make,
the less clear your actions are.
Do not expect others to understand your pain,
do not burden them with your own confusion,
when you are confused, you must pray.
When you tell the world of your woes,
you become that woe...and that is not you.
You've got such better stories!
Happy ones! Beautiful ones,
even mysteries yet to see.
She tilts her head gently, looking up...
It's okay. All is not lost. Everyone makes mistakes.
In fact, you can grow.
You have the knowledge now that
the only one who judges you is you
the only one who can forgive you is you
so if you want to be surrounded, smile, dear lady.
Forgive yourself for believing you can fix anything
you need to shut your big mouth and listen,
reward yourself by being humble
the world is not revolving around you.
So don't forget this time. This time,
when you say you understand your mistake,
don't say it. Be that understanding.
Fate carries you through the door,
but the journey is yours to make,
and remember, it is never too late.
Strengthen yourself, treasure yourself
your own actions speak louder than your words.
so shut your big mouth!
You must never expect to be heard,
know it for yourself, record it for yourself
and remind yourself
for you really have learned.
Now return as you were, from Damascus
pleasant, a mystery, a pearl.
And if you get confused,
and if you falter, never fear.
Bow your head, do a better job,
it is what got you to here.
Where will you be tomorrow?
Wherever the wind takes you, if you will let it.
Dominus Votum Reputo
Jessie Olson (c) August 2010